A local Northern Beaches bloke, Mitch Davies has been left feeling extremely frustrated and confused after being booted from a licensed venue in the CBD for drinking a beer out of his shoe over the weekend.

“Shoeys are a sacred family tradition for me. When Christmas time comes around we sit around the table, carve up a feast and pass a pair of Vans around. Even Nan’ has a crack at one!”

“I thought these bloody lockout laws were bad enough but even if I’m in the venue at the right time, I’m apparently not allowed to rip a shoey! I’ve had it with this bloody nanny state. If I thought it was possible for me to live outside of the Northern Beaches, I would get the f*ck out of this town!”

Mitch has said the whole experience has left him questioning his whole existence and certainly wont be crossing the Harbour Bridge anytime soon, or even the Spit Bridge for that matter.





This article is quite obviously (we hope) satire. Featured image taken from jufl